Archive for November, 2009

November 18, 2009

I’m beyond stress…

… and it shows.. on my FACE! such a huge pimple and it hurts!! Oh man the trouble of group works… who invented group works anyways?? someone always slack and someone always do all of the work! I want to be the one who does nothing! there i said it lolz… anyways all jokes aside, I am really worn out… physically and mentally. I don’t think there is enough time in the day to do everything and rest too… I think I am getting sick.. I hope not..

My partners are wasting my time… my energy and my sanity….. there I said it!!! you guys are loserrrrr and I hate you guys… and NO I didn’t mean that, but sometimes I rather work alone.. at least I’m in complete control.. win or lose.. it’s all me… but life is all about group work… sigh

beside all of that.. we’re running out of money…
life is life. Period.

so exhausted- i said that already didn’t i.. what to do?? rest and say screw it… or work til I get sick and lay in bed for the rest of the year?? haha.. if only it’s that simple…

okay.. i’ll rest for half an hour.. maybe close my eyes too…Alright!  you have convinced me…
kthanx!

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November 16, 2009

Oh Mondays…

How I dread Monday… I wake up early enough, I prep myself up trying to prepare for Mondays, but I’m always running late for some reason. I notice that when I dread something, it take 5 times the effort to get up and go.It’s how my brain work… I have a lot to face today. So enough said… lets just do it!… Have a Happy Monday everyone!

November 15, 2009

A life lesson found over a cup of tea and general meeting…

I went to my work meeting today, and I have to say, I came home with more than expected. Lately I have been thinking a lot about this world. I found myself hating this world more and more for its injustices, unfairness, and dramas. I have to admit that I have been losing hope. I wonder why I work this hard for, in the end it will go unrewarded or more specifically unnoticed and unappreciated. Since then although I haven’t really stop working hard, I have stop working at the best of my ability. Given that I do not want to move up in position because I have school, so I did not work as hard as I can be to stand out. However, I found myself becoming a routine, or almost… resentful? I do not love my job and found the work place to be unbearable. The people that I work with I no longer can trust nor communicate to. I feel myself being rob of my generosity, I feel myself being taken advantage of. I felt like no matter how hard  I work, all of them went unnoticed. I feel like my honesty and authenticity is being tested everyday. I feel … a lot of things… and you know what??? I finally realized why I am unhappy at work, and why I feel what I feel…. I forgot to appreciate what I’ve got, I forgot how to be grateful, I forgot that I am the lucky few who even has a job…. in another word… I turn into a complainer… complain nonstop… I have turn into someone very selfish… think about myself only….

What I am trying to say is… my complaining days are over. I, Phuong Kathy Nguyen, is very blessed with a job, a family, and fortunate enough to still be in school. There are so many more people out there that work 10 times harder than I am for less paying job than this.. When did I turn into one of those?? I, from this day forward will work as hard as I can in everything, to so the world that I am not defeated, that I BELIEVE in hard works, I BELIEVE in the good of this world… and I will fight for what’s good in this world… I am not alone and I am not a complainer!!!…… I thank GOD everyday for giving me this opportunity to work as hard as I can because I have both arms, and legs, healthy body, and a working mind… For this I am blessed, it’s time I give back to the world, instead of asking what it can do for me…

The meeting was 3 hours long, but this 3 hours have finally wake me up… I encourage everyone in my shoe to try it out… work as hard as you can no matter what, even if it seem unnoticed or unappreciated… you will feel much better about yourself because you give back… because guess what?? nothing is going unnoticed because GOD is always watching!…

November 10, 2009

“..Save me from the nothing I’ve become..”

Today was not so bad. I put up a good fight but it isn’t over yet. Tonight will determine how “back” I really am. It takes all of my being to really take back what I’ve lost in myself. I still have a lot to face. Nothing is over yet. All I did was prevent futher mistakes, but I still have to correct all of the wrongs I did. Very difficult since things have stack up greatly. With courage I know I have… I will come out of this better than before… Keep on going ..Aza!

November 4, 2009

blank!

“suppose to have something to say here… but nothing”
I am having one of those days when my mind is a complete blank…
I had a lot to say… but suddently…

Nothing!

 

this is a meaningless post but I will post anyways

November 2, 2009

I don’t ask for an excuse
I don’t ask for sympathy
I am here to tell the truth…

I am weak…
I can’t fight my battle
Life is beyond me…

What am I to do?
I have the tools to be happy
My family, my friends.. the best of this world..Yet…….

I don’t have a sense of accomplishment
and that is killing me…
My will power? non-existence

Each day more and more mistakes
Suppose to live and learn…
I learned nothing…

I’m an excuse of a person…
Weak, lazy, unmotivated… Yet.. I do nothing to change… why?
Giving up is not an option but when will it gets better?
So farfetch… a dream
Peace of the mind….. nothing…

This world is so dark…
it is hard to find a reason to live for…
Love sometimes is the only thing that keep me going…

Yet.. keep on going I will…
Surely there must be something worth it…
So helpless… everyone is fighting their own battle…
I don’t need encouragement… I comfort others, but
harder to live by those words…

Hang in there I said… don’t let it beat you…
Easier said than done….
I am…. lost!

But………..I will conquer!!